Unwanted Symbols
by Little Rini
Summary: Relena's finally sick of being treated like an symbol and seemed unwanted by her co-workers. She sets off for a new life. Songfic, ends happy! 1XR Been a while since i posted neh? D


A/N: he-eeeeh…umm..Well I normally don't like Avril but I like this song by her.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own this song Avril does. I do not own Gundam Wing.  
  
  
  
Notes: /lyrics are in these/  
  
That's it. Ta-ta.  
  
  
  
  
  
A.C. 200  
  
  
  
'A symbol. That's what I am to them. Just a symbol. Nothing more, nothing less.' Relena thought as she signed the last paper for the day. "Miss Relena." Her secretary called from behind the door. "Enter." Relena said monotonously. The secretary entered the room. "Relena, there is a man from the press who would like a word with you about your decision to not run for another term as Vice Foreign Minister" her secretary stammered out. Relena sighed. "Tell him I will meet with them tomorrow at the press meeting date that has been already set." "I know Madame, but this certain person is persisting." "Fine send him in." Relena caved in once again. "Of course."  
  
  
  
"Miss Lena! I believe you should have told me first!" a cheerful voice said as Duo emerged from behind the door. "Duo?!" Relena said in surprise, she quickly moved out of her chair and rushed to him. Duo warped his arms around her in a bear hug and picked her up. Relena gasped then laughed at Duo's friendly nature. "Man from the press indeed." She said smiling at him as he set her down. "Well…I had to pull your strings. So how are things?" Duo said, his voice cheerful like always. "The same old" Relena replied as she went to her desk to prepare for the next day tomorrow. She put a selected few papers into a small folder for the press conference tomorrow. "Why aren't you running for a next term?" Duo said, getting right to the point. "Well I decided that 4 years of working for the public was quiet enough and that I had no reason to continue. Peace has been achieved and maintained for almost 4 sturdy years now. I am not needed. It's time I got a real life." Relena finished her packing and grabbed her jacket and the folder. "I can agree and second that!" Relena looked at him questioningly. "Then why did you ask if you agree?" Duo saluted to her. "Special orders from Heero to figure out why," then Duo laughed, going back to being himself. A small pain erupted in Relena's heart. Heero, a word she didn't enjoy hearing anymore.  
  
  
  
"Well missy, lets go out to dinner! Hilde is waiting for us!" Duo said as Relena looked at him shocked. "What? You thought I would come to earth without her? Nonsense. Lets go!" He held out his hand and Relena took it leaving with him.  
  
  
  
/All I did was walk over.  
Start off by shaking your heads/  
  
  
  
The Press Conference began with people looking up at her. Always looking. The questions began, small little "Tchs" and "Psh" could be heard. Relena looked down at the papers on the podium desk. It ended like this. People criticizing her, like she didn't expect this. The questions where answered honestly despite the snide remarks she could hear in the background. '4 years and this is what I get.' She all of a sudden felt sorrow spread through her body. Everything she had done had been committed in vain. As the conference went on her voice seemed to loose emotion with each answer she gave.  
  
  
  
/That's how it went.  
I had a smile on my face  
  
And I sat up strait./  
  
  
  
This was it. This was the end. Her last day, Heero hadn't even come to say good-bye to her. As if she expected more? Nothing was there between them, not a damn thing. Sorrow seemed to sweep through her body again, a familiar feeling since the press conference a few months back.  
  
  
  
/Oh, yeah yeah.  
  
I wanted to know you.  
  
I wanted to show you./  
  
A good-bye party was thrown for her that night. She really did not want to go. If anyone knew her well enough, and none do, they would have known she hates parties in honor of herself. She sat alone at her own party. She drank the cheap kool-aid punch, said her good-byes and left as quickly as she came. No use in staying if she was going to sit alone the whole night. She walked into her office and began to clean out the remainder of items she left after her first clean up. She opened the locked bottom draw and a picture of Heero and herself shinned in the light. Relena gasped, her throat stopping anything else. She pulled the frame up and looked at the picture. It had been taken 3 years ago; she looked younger in the picture. She had yet to be forced into a harsh world. Things where peaceful and simple then, after that he disappeared for a few weeks then returned to be a Preventer. They never spoke after that. Not once. They nodded to each other in the hallway, no hellos. Not even Heero knew her. No he just wanted to shut her off like everyone else did. In a room full of people Relena seemed to always feel alone. Why? Because everyone just wanted her gone. She was just a Symbol.  
  
  
  
/You don't know me  
  
Don't ignore me.  
You don't want me there.  
You just shut me out.  
You don't know me.  
Don't ignore me.  
  
If you had your way  
  
You'd just shut me up.  
Make me go away./  
  
  
  
Just a symbol! Symbols don't talk, symbols don't feel. Symbols represent something wonderful or something horrible. They never felt. She must be a symbol because if she were a human being her brother would have stayed right? Just a symbol, that's all she was.  
  
  
  
/(Im unwanted)  
  
No, I just don't understand  
  
Why you wont talk to me  
  
It hurts…  
  
That Im unwanted for nothing  
  
Don't talk words against me.  
  
I wanted to know you.  
  
I wanted to show you./  
  
  
  
She finished gathering her items and placed them in a simple cardboard box. "Symbol's don't feel." She said or herself as she felt sorrow pull at her heart again. A small tear rolled down her cheek. "Symbol's don't feel." She repeated. More tears began to creep down her face. She quickly wiped them away; a heart retching sob escaped her pale lips as she fell to the floor. She stayed quiet, letting the tears drop to the ground. As she calmed down she looked at the picture still in her hand. "Symbol's don't feel." She said reassuring herself as she stood up. She placed the picture in the box; quickly she picked the box up and walked out of the office. Leaving the world of politics forever because here, no one knew her and no one cared to know her.  
  
  
  
  
  
/You don't know me  
Don't ignore me  
  
You don't want me there  
  
You just shut me out./  
  
  
  
Heero stood in the shadows of the office Relena had just exited. 'Symbol's don't feel' he contemplated the statement. Her refusal to run another term shocked Heero so he sent Duo to do his dirty work. Ever since they had last been together those so many years ago things didn't seem right with him anymore. Staying away from her seemed to help. He snorted. Okay, that was a lie. Staying away from her made things worse. The longer he was gone the more he thought about her. So now 3 years away from her, he was now going crazy with her in his head all day and all night. What could he do about it though? He knew nothing of this annoying feeling. Except it bothered him all the time. The longing to be with her was increasing by the days he was not with her.  
  
  
  
/You don't know me  
  
Don't ignore me.  
If you had your way  
  
You'd just shut me out  
  
Make me go away  
  
Make me go away/  
  
  
  
A.C. 203  
  
  
  
Relena sat in her classroom taking notes as the professor continued his speech. She sighed softly even here she didn't belong. Even here no one knew her, no one wanted to. As the professor finished his speech a woman walked into the room, her head held high.   
  
  
  
She looked through the students ignoring the professor's rants. She pointed toward Relena. "You come with me." The woman spoke forcefully. Relena grabbed her things and rushed past the other students, she bowed to the professor and apologized for the interruption, she then left the room following the woman. "Relena Dorilan?" the woman questioned. "Yes, how can I help you Hilde?" Relena said. The woman stopped and looked at her. "You knew?!" Hilde said, her serious expression fading away. "Of course, how could I not? Though you really have changed." "Same with you, I could barely tell who you where in the crowd of all those students, I've got some news!" Hilde said excited to no ends. "What?" Relena asked anxiously. "IM PREGNANT!!" she squealed and jumped up and down. Relena gave her a hug but then stopped. "You pulled me out of my class for this announcement, couldn't you have waited?" Soon students began to crowd the halls as the classes ended. "It was almost over." She noted. "Plus I want you to by the god mother for my child." She said. Relena stood in shock. "Yeah! So you think you could come back to us now?" Hilde asked. Alternative motives she had. Relena wanted to scream at her. Did no one pay attention to her back then? Did no one see her suffering? Obviously no one cared.  
  
  
  
/I tried to belong  
  
It didn't seem wrong/  
  
  
  
Hilde watched Relena's fist clench and unclench. "Relena?" she questioned. "No one cared did they?" Relena said looking at Hilde. "Cared about what?" "Nothing. My answer is no. I can't come back, maybe this winter break but not now. School you know." Hilde sighed and looked up at the cloudy sky. "Heero wants you to come back." Hilde said this knowing it would catch Relena's attention. It was true; he was so cold now, more than ever. Anyone could see that the total absence of Relena was taking a harsh toll on Heero. Relena seemed unfazed though. "You don't love him anymore." Hilde stated, shocked at the thought that Relena Dorilan would ever fall out of love with Heero Yuy. "I still love him, but I have to find myself. I've never been given a chance to belong somewhere. Everyday of my life people tried to belong with me but that's never what I wanted. (1)" Hilde watched Relena as she stuck her tongue out to catch the snow that was falling. "When you said 'no one cared' you where talking about us weren't you! We do care though! We want to help you! You belong with us!" Relena smiled and looked at her great friend. "If you cared then why did no one try to stop me when I left." Relena began to walk away. "Im honored that you ask me to be the god mother of your child but I cannot drop everything I have worked on for this. I will be back in during winter break." Then she was gone. Hilde sighed and left the campus.  
  
  
  
/My head aches!  
It's been so long/  
  
  
  
Had they really not cared to notice her pain? Friends or not, she always listened to their needs, wants. She always gave a helping hand toward them, always paying attention to their moods. Yet not once did they watch hers. She gave up on people caring years before she decided to leave.   
  
  
  
/I write this song.  
  
That's what it takes./  
  
  
  
As the news of Hilde's visit to Relena got back to Heero he wanted nothing more than to take Relena and ask her if this is what she wanted. Making everyone suffer without her here. Actually that didn't sound to bad. Hilde though had protested said that they hadn't paid attention to her when she always listened to them. That was a fair statement but still. Then he heard that she still loved him, something inside of him awakened. She loved him, still. Well then everything was right in the world.  
  
  
  
/You don't know me  
Don't ignore me!  
  
You don't want me there  
  
You just shut me out.  
  
You don't know me  
  
Don't ignore me.  
If you had your way  
  
You'd just shut me out /  
  
  
  
They never saw Relena though in-fact she disappeared from records totally. She had to hide from them; she had to find where she belonged. She never lived her own life, everyone lived it for her, or she was just a symbol. Though this symbol was going to break her binds and free her soul. That's what she did. She freed her soul and she freed her mind.   
  
  
  
/You don't know me  
Don't ignore me!  
  
You don't want me there  
  
You just shut me out./  
  
  
  
~*~ Winter Break ~*~  
  
  
  
Heero stood in front of a hotel door. He knocked on it and Relena answered it without asking who it was. 'Too trust worthy.' Relena smiled and looked up at Heero. "Hello." She opened the door for him to come in. Welcoming him into her heart without demanding him say the words she knew he felt. Heero closed the door behind him, sealing the moment destiny had been waiting for.  
  
  
  
8 years later. A.C. 211 (2)  
  
  
  
A woman stood in front of a large crowed, her gown hanged just to the ground. She took her doctorate and shook her Professor's hand and walked down the stairs to her knew life. She smiled, the woman was Relena, after the event ended she said good-bye to her friends and walked over to the man she had been with since the winter break of her 3rd year in school. The wedding ring on her finger reminded her who he was. A small toddler looking like a small version of the man ran to her and grabbed her leg. Relena smiled and looked down at the boy, she picked him up and walked over to the man. "Hello Doctor Relena Yuy." The man said. She giggled and kissed him. "Hello to you too Mr. Heero Yuy."  
  
  
  
/You don't know me  
  
Don't ignore me.  
If you had your way  
  
You'd just shut me out/  
  
  
  
"A doctorate in Earth and Colonies Literature? That's quite the accomplishment." Lady Une said as she saw the 32 year-old ex-queen of the world in front of her. Relena smiled as the con-graduations party continued around them. "Thank you." Relena said. The little Heero ran up and pulled at Une's sleeve. "Lady lady! Where is Mari?" Une smiled "She will be here in a few minutes Ky." Ky nodded and ran off to go play with others. Relena smiled as a hand gripped hers. Heero's voice whispered into her ear. "Do you belong?" he said. She turned to him and ran her fingers along his cheek. "I belong wherever my loved ones are."  
  
  
  
/Make me go away  
  
Make me go away  
  
Make me go away…/  
  
  
  
After Colony 211  
  
  
  
Peace has been maintained for 14 years now. With help of Preventers and other official military work forces the common human being can live day in and day out without the fear of their family and home being destroyed by war. Peace has been accomplished in the human life. (3)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Notes:  
1- I believe that even Relena can be lost and needing to find herself. She lived in a false world through her life. She never knew her true parents, what a shocker that's got to be, so she must feel lost right? And being forced into a world of politics at age 15 she was never given the chance to be a teenager.  
  
  
  
2- It takes 8-11 years getting a doctorate and I felt that a doctorate in literature would be best for Relena. I mean come on she lived through history so she'd know a good amount of it, and literature is a great passion for political leaders a lot of the time. Im also sorry for jumping around but.eeeh I made this a lot longer than I planned. Sorry if you don't like it.  
  
  
  
3- I felt as though I should end it with a narrator seeing as how that's how the series was done.  
  
  
  
Ending notes: I hope you liked it….x_X R&R please  
  
  



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